My brothers big day

My Dearest Brother,

So I hear congratulations are in order.
I wasn’t sure there where just rumors at first…
But my mom told me it was real… you are married now and even became a Father.
She had found his number and called that Monster that ‘Raised’ us.

I felt numerous things…I was happy, my little brother is becoming a man.
Becoming a husband to what I hope it would be to the Love of his life.
Becoming a father for what I hope it will change your life in something good.
I don’t know… because i wasn’t even aware of this..

But also I felt a lot of hurt…I wasn’t even invited on what is supposed to be your biggest day.
A day where family celebrate the love of two people being united.
I was fine with it I mean a day like this is your day.
You are the one who is in charge… you are the one who decides to be a part of that special day.

But then I heard you invited that Monster… and not us the people that really love you and have your best interest at heart…Your mother… your sisters…
No you decided to invite him the man who ruined us …who broke us…
The man who physically abused us  and broke us down mentally believing we are not worth a penny.
Did you forget what he did to us?? what still has effect on us sometimes??
The daily reminder I have when I walk too much on a day because of the scar tissue in my knees???
You know when back in the day he would kick me in the back and I fell down hard on my knees on the pavement… remember that??
Or when he dragged me by my hair down the stairs to give me a beating with his fists?
The bruises healed just fine in the end… but the emotional scars stayed for so long.
We haven’t even discussed the mental abuse…on how he would talk to me that is wan’t worth anything…how I was a whore…a stupid little bitch and these words where the kindest…

You should cherish a child… push them to greatness…but at 16 I was literally broken by all the abuse… I couldn’t take it no more…
And then they just put me out of the house when I finally had the courage to fight back.
I remember the whole ordeal like it happend just yesterday…
You where still so young…you where there crying in a corner begging us to stop…

I finally broke free…
How I missed being your sister! because me being free ment I couldn’t have contact with you guys.
It hurt so much from me seeing en raising you for so long to not seeing you at all.
The first 3 years of your life it was me changing your diapers… it was me feeding you..it was me raising you.
But also this is something you wouldn’t remember because you where so young…

I was torn what should I have done… me being finally free means the abuse will turn to another child in the family… I wasn’t there any more to get the beating….
He turned to you and our sisters…
I knew it… but what was I supposed to do??
I was just a kid myself …trying to live this life…

Then my mom finally had the courage too… to leave him..
And to go to court to make sure you where also safe…
I just wished she had done it sooner things could have been so different…

It looked like things where changing for the better…for all of us..
But then all of a sudden… you changed…started hanging out with the wrong crowed..
Stopping school… making bad decisions… choosing a wrong path..
Started being in contact again with him that Psychopathic monster that he is…
And I know you know that he is! Remember when you said he broke your stepbrother with all the beating?  what he did with your sisters.. with me?
Remember when mom took him to court??

Then how could you choose him over us??
Are you afraid? Or are you ashamed of us that we life in a western way?
What is it? I will probably never know the answers to that…
But that is ok …do what you need to do…I will always love you.
I forgive you because you need to be a really strong person to raise above that all.
I do hope you understand and know how much you have hurt me.
I still love you! that will never change! But for now there will be no room for you in my life… I need to take care of me… Your decisions hurt us..

I do hope you honestly have found the love of your life.
And you have a wonderful great life together, filled with love, health and luck.
I hope you becoming a father will change you to be a better man.
To understand you have a child that needs protection from this world.
That you will raise them right with lots of love and push them to greatness.
I hope you never let your child to be with that Psychopath even if it would just be a small visit.
I do hope you changed for the better…
I hope you understand even with the love I have for you little brother…
I hope all the best for you in the world….إن شاء الله

Good bye!

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2 Responses to My brothers big day

  1. Romeo lobo says:

    No words needed to express the feeling i have after reading your story

    • Nicole says:

      This is a good case of a young adult with not enough and good Guidance.
      I wished he had someone like you in his life when he needed it.
      Someone who care about the future of young adults

      Thank you for reading ❤

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